Sunday, July 02, 2006

News Flash - First Mass Baptism

Reuters 09:15:23 EST...

Pictured here are the 300 converts of the First Free International Reformed Unitarian Baptist Church of Dullass, Texas. This is believed to be the first baptism of its kind. Speaking on behalf of the pastor, Elder Rado said "this sure does seem to be a unique event, but thouroughly in keeping with our big church policy".

Pastor Mike Mowse responded to criticism when he stated "due to our promotional ideas for getting people in church we have found peaks and troughs in response. During the 'as much as you can eat and drink' week, we found the church full with those who wanted to know more. We followed this up with a 'dunk one dip one free' evening where already baptised members who were waining in commitment or had joined from other churches could get re-baptised as long as they were accompanied by an unconverted friend. The first 50 pairs got to use the Calvary inflatables, though they had to be baptised again later as they just rode the wave".

The church now intends getting the converts 'Rapture Ready' on the churches very own 70ft square 'bouncy temple'.

1 comment:

Meg said...

I'd first like to ask, how do "Reformed" and "Unitarian" go together? That's absolutely nuts. Just on that basis, it's hard to make a case that these people should be walking the streets.

Secondly, it's Texas. I used to spend quite a bit of time there, mostly in the Houston area, and nothing like this surprises me. There's a 30,000-member megachurch there called Second Baptist... The campus is larger than some of your Western Isles, all y'all.

Still, mass baptisms on this order -- sure hope it doesn't catch on anywhere else. What desecration.


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