Wednesday, July 05, 2006

Marine Miracle

Shocked fisherman crab lining in the peaceful waters off the Philippines rushed back to shore today with the 'Jesus Crab'. News quickly spread of the faith inspiring shell creature, and local fisherman returned to faith in huge numbers.

Fisherman Hugo Rassi told reporters "I had lost faith in above ever since my pet dog lucky was killed by a falling coconut. How can you believe when stuff like that happens". Once Hugo saw the Charismatic Crab he just fell prostrate before it, (doctors later stitched the severe laceration to Hugo's nose that the supposedly dead sea creature had inflicted).

Papal officials were quickly called, and Cardinal Crustacean of the Vaticans Oceanographic Shell Fish and Mollusc miracle investigation team revealed that Jesus in a crab was not unusual. In a statement he revealed that "Only last month we found Mary in a perriwinkle off the Egyptian coast", this find, along with "Joseph in a cockle and 7 undisclosed saints all appearing simultaneously in a whelkbed", only adds support to Crustaceans defense that shellfish and the bible are not incompatible. As he added to further bolster his case, "what would this great bible story be without Samsons mussels"!

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