Wednesday, May 24, 2006

Bollox 1

With the thought of Sacred Cows in mind I wanted to go into some of the stuff in 'church' and 'christendom' that is essentially Bollox (for those who may be upset that I am swearing/cursing on my friendly all age family blog then let me explain:

Bollox (a trademark of GluxoKen) is a veterinary medicine used in the treatment of dairy cows past milk producing age. The Bollox is mixed with Krappe (a distilling agent) and is applied to the udders using a spray lance. The mix of Bollox and Krappe reduces the size of the udders making them totally irrelavent for the purpose they were designed.

Therefore from now on all topics that deal with irrelevancy in christendom will be formally known as Bollox.

Lesson 1...

1When Jesus had called the Twelve together, he gave them power and authority to drive out all demons and to cure diseases, 2and he sent them out to form themselves into denominational structures, telling them 'to work as rivals in competition with one another, set up for yourselves structures and legacies so you can have a lasting heritage as sedentary people.

If you should work with each other then retain the deep seated desire to be top dog, the best, numero uno, head honcho. Take nothing for your journey either, except a trowel and digger and bricks and carpets and curtains to build wonderful buildings in which you can be so proud, feel safe and replicate. Also build Bible colleges where you can reinforce the self importance of academic prowess over loving your neighbour. Take also for yourself bluetooth enabled devices, laptops and projectors, musical instruments, hymn books and songbooks, CD's and DVD's, construct for yourselves a multi media interactive labyrinth worship station and a 24/7 prayer room with attached counselling centre. Finally once you have collected and constructed all these needful things you will need a cart to carry it on. Therefore build a mode for all this to be transported, put my glory in a box and place it on the cart with these other things you so desperately think will help you know me more. If you should happen to hit a rut and my box begins to tumble, please catch me, for we know don't we that nobody wants to see God all over the sidewalk and in the gutter.

ALL the above is Bollox

1When Jesus had called the Twelve together, he gave them power and authority to drive out all demons and to cure diseases, 2and he sent them out to preach the kingdom of God and to heal the sick. 3He told them: "Take nothing for the journey—no staff, no bag, no bread, no money, no extra tunic.

Next time you think you need something (anything) to aid you on your journey in the Kingdom work, just remember this one endearing word...Bollox (a word to describe irrelevancy)

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

And then again...
"Then Jesus asked them, "When I sent you without purse, bag or sandals, did you lack anything?" "Nothing," they answered. He said to them, "But now if you have a purse, take it, and also a bag; and if you don't have a sword, sell your cloak and buy one." Luke 22
:)

Shieldsy said...

Bollox. LOL ... I like that! Think I'll use that myself.

Dave said...

Nice one anon, but i don't think one verse cancels another till we have no verses left. This is a different situation and he only says 'if', the crux is that they did lack anything even with nothing...so that is the start point...nothing

Thanks Shieldsy, that was my best 'call my bluff' attempt,could be fun I think.

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